M.A. Internicola

 

Two for Tuesday

when i pass savannah, georgia and the clouds
are there and zz top did what they did i see blue
skies again. mississippi that way. up and down the
other. pearl jam in raleigh, north carolina tonight
and it's all about the freedom now even when i
don't realize it's making me happy. sometimes,
i get so free i forget. i forget i don't know where
my home is. i forget that girl i used to know.
there's bad news before exit 109. terrible crash.
news crews already there. a guy running across
interstate 95. it is the middle of april. the concert
is killer. red necks and preppies though. 37 dollars
to our name. they wouldn't even let me buy beers
without my id. hicks. next day i find myself eating
a turkey sub in a gas station parking lot because it's
so god damn nice out. new york can wait for me there.
i still got dick going but being on the road these last
three months has certainly changed things. my birthday
is in three weeks. thirty two years of age. i'll be lucky
to get a phone call. i don't give a shit. anyway—
heading to richmond to fag off with those punks.
hardly anyone around anymore. wall and his kids.
pauly and matty with the girls. new york city life is so
different. i wonder what sar's up to. i hope she's fine.
junior stole van halen's 1984 outta the sub joint. girl gone
bad is on and we're going about 80 down this stretch. god signs
and semi's everywhere. blown tires and trees forever. junior's
driving and going crazy inside and to think that this all
happen only a couple weeks back. i was walking down the street
and junior said we had three options: vegas, san fran or fla.
i've been or at least passed thru all three. in a matter of a day,
a day after i met a beautiful girl named natalie, i was gone for
three straight weeks. i've written her as best i could. i wrote
about the other one as best i could. take your time, sari. find love.
in virginia nothing looks different. emporia is ten miles away.
wherever the fuck that is.

 

Goose

ain't a little bit off
she's a lotta bit off
in her pink h & m jacket
and steve madden shoes

she hardly drinks on weekdays
follows weight watchers
people
her mother
her friends at work

goose falls asleep at 9:30 every night
her walls are white
the same color as forever

i sit on the couch and try not
to fuck up the cushions
i smoke all day while she's on the job
i ash in the bowls she uses for soup

now 25, she wants to meet a boy who
doesn't mind being tied down,
an anchor in her glass of water
she tells me she can't take it anymore
when i call her fat ass
that only happen once
she won't wear a wig
she won't do shots at the bar anymore
she doesn't like my clothes anymore either

side by side in her bed, she says she can smell
my breath through my nostrils
you smell like cigarettes she tells me
i don't want you smoking in here,
there's pubic hair everywhere,
quit snotting in the shower,
using my razor,
buy some tp,
you don't like anybody,
get a job,
pay some rent,
i want you to make plans,
i love you,
call me if you're gonna be out all night,
i want babies,
michael doesn't want to marry me,
throw your sneakers out,
get new ones,
guys hit on me all the time when i'm out,
i want diamond earrings,
you're not funny anymore,
why aren't you writing,
quit yelling,
my stomach hurts,
my mother is so smart,
mark and sandra are coming in,
get a place of your own,
don't eat my food,
no newspapers on the blankets,
you're a cliché,
you never make any sense,
i hate my clothes,
all the girls at work have nice everything,
it's not even,
your not good in bed anymore,
i feel bad for my dad,
for olivia,
i feel like an old married couple,
my closet is too small,
don't rent porno under my name anymore,
your like your father,
i want ice cream,
why can't ever do what i want to do,
my people magazine didn't come,
i want a coffee and toasted bagel with butter,
my show's on,
lisa wants to know if you can watch sean on friday,
you don't talk,
turn down the t.v.,
i forgot to take my pill,
i'm fat,
no eating past ten,
i miss my grandpa,
come to the jersey shore and see my parents with me,
you never come through,
what do you want to eat,
you're a racist,
i want a cat

do you think about me all the time she asks

huh, i answer looking at the ugly cabinet on the wall,
the pictures of us happy in paris,
in vegas,
in italy,
in key west together

what she says

i wonder why i love you at all i tell her
you cut me a million ways